NRPNG - Non Resident Persona Non Grata

What is it with Indians?

Specifically NRIs?

They quickly embrace foreign culture. So soon that Siddharth morphs into 'Sid' overnight. Danny dude has completely forgotten that he was a 'Dhanish' back home. In Rang De Basanti, DJ and his cronies accept history lessons from a Brit chick in between ogling women on FTV and taking swigs of beer. Everyone loved the movie but failed to see the irony of it all. Indian history taught by a Brit. The directors are right, we aren't passionate about our own history. Even in film history too,Satyajit Rays entire collection is neatly catalogued in an temperature controlled vault in Beverly Hills.

I have come across many such people. Two relatives of mine and many on the Internet. Yet they wear masks to blend in with the rest of the crowd. Because if they aired their true 'grievances' publicly, they'd be squashed both literally and figuratively. All they'd have left to say would be - "Peace - yo!".

I've read the blog of an MBA dude who calls Gandhi a half naked beggar, who divided a nation. A 'cruel' person who never cared for his kids. The great Bahraini blogger went on to pick many personalities of Indian origin. I bet he has Dick Cheney's poster right next to some FHM hottie. How I wish he went quail hunting with Cheney.

I've read a Keralite girls blog about the 'smelly' people she gladly left for good. Never mind that she relishes the fantastic fish they sold to her for dirt cheap. Never mind that she nostalgically yearns for that mango pickle which the smelly people pickled for her. Never mind that she finds most Indians uncouth. When I commented that she insulted herself quite beautifully, completely forgetting that she would always remain an Indian, the whole posse of Mensa certified bloggers crucified me. I was the one who had the last laugh.

And today, I come across the 'stereotyped' Indian cum Arab. Torn between two majestic cultures, X loves to snipe from across the sand dunes in full combat uniform. Only that the bullet always loses its mark. And X doesn't know that comouflage is virtually useless in a barren land save for the odd cacti and the friendly camels. But X wears the uniform well, for X believes that you have to dress well to act the part. So does the Bangladeshi who walks around in his unwashed kandoora in his '99 Lexus, believing that he's The Complete Emirati.

Lots of luck to X and the Bangladeshi. You are both on a ship in the sea of stupidity. Keep steering cap-tin, you never know when you'd strike gold.

I've been reading blogs since 2002, when the blog explosion began. Hundreds of blogs visited, from across the world. But I'm yet to come across anybody disowning their own country for flimsy reasons. Americans hate America for being led under Bush Jr., and Indians.....for being Indian.

I wonder why that Indian director met Paris Hilton to play the role of Mother Teresa. Pamela Anderson is clearly the most desired of the lot.



Pam says hi to Miss X. Bangladeshi....you there? Dammit you rolled up your tints ....AGAIN?